It IS About the Bike
By Dan • Jun 16th, 2008 • Category: Wild Hares
By Bob Santarelli
Twenty years ago my average week consisted of training 400 to 500 miles, racing at least twice (sometimes in one day) somewhere in the United States, eating tons of food, sleeping on stranger’s floors and drinking an occasional beer or ten.
What a life … the life of a top level bike racer, the life of a “bike bum”. Sometimes I had to place in the top three of a race in order to make enough money to pay that month’s rent or to buy groceries, mainly ramen noodles and frozen pizzas.
One race in particular I won two cases of Power Bars in a prime, a prize given to the winner of a particular lap. That was breakfast for almost a month. My Dad, rest his soul, once told me I looked like I’d just been released from a German concentration camp because I was so thin and lean…
I took it as a great compliment. They weren’t hard times by any means, it was my choice, my passion, my world, and I shared it with a great group of guys. We trained together in Colorado during the winter and Florida in the spring. We raced together nearly every weekend, sometimes as teammates, sometimes as rivals … but before and after we were the best of friends.
I gave up the sport for several years, sixteen to be exact, to get a “real job”, get married, have kids, then eventually start my own business.
Well, about a year and a half ago I took a devastating blow to my life as I knew it. I was awakened in the middle of the night and confronted by the words, “I want a divorce”. No abuse, no addiction, no cheating … just not happy anymore. She said that I should have seen it coming, I didn’t. She said she didn’t think I’d take it as hard as I did, I took real hard.
In a matter of no time I went from a fulltime husband and dad to a single dad half the time. My kids are my world, both boys, and each is their own version of me. To not see them everyday was torture to me and the woman I loved was responsible for it. Those words that night were like an echo in the mountains that started an avalanche that was my life for the next year. When my boys weren’t with me I struggled, I cried a lot and couldn’t shake the anger and confusion. Then my business began to fail, I began to fail and I made some bad decisions.
I had started riding my bike again, mainly to keep my sanity. Then something remarkable happened. My old world came back to me. That great group of guys, the guys I pedaled my ass off with twenty years ago, started coming out of the woodwork. I think we all share one of the voices in our heads and that voice said, “Santarelli is having a rough time”. Edwardsville, Kenosha, Denver and right here in Springfield, they came to my rescue. They didn’t want to see me down.
One in particular gave me work, gives me valuable advice and gives me a lot of shit; just like old times … we talk almost everyday. I approached another after a race last summer (in which we both placed in the top 10), I started crying and told him I wasn’t doing so well. This is a guy who takes a lot of grief from the local cycling community, but I know him differently. He hugged me and said, “Bobby, let’s ride together again … just like old times … me and you”, and we do.
As bike racers, runners, multi-sport athletes, whatever, we all share a common bond in our little worlds. Lance Armstrong was wrong with the title of his first book “It’s Not About the Bike”, it is about the bike. It doesn’t matter if your marriage failed or your business went under. It matters that you have friends, good ones that share a common passion and a common happy place … on a bike, winning a race or blowing snot rockets on each other on a training ride.
Life is okay now … I have two wonderful kids and some awesome friends … a great group of guys.
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ahhhhhh, a sigh of relief. I have been beating my head against the wall for some time trying to put things in perspective. Our stories are similiar in many ways. I often wondered what your take on things were and then Tober said you had been making a return. I try and justify the time spent away from cycling as a “been there done that” type of situation but to no avail–Im running out of excuses . Someone once told me (probably the same person that consoled you after the race), cycling is short lived and dont put all your eggs in that basket, make sure you have a plan when cycling ends…. How do you simply walk away and move to the next phase. It took me a few years to even be able to look at a bike let alone read the race results or even watch the Tour because I knew the reality would set in…..those days are over. Well I have moved on but not without missing the bike. I have thought about riding the bike again on a more consistant level but am drawing blanks thus far while the same ole group of guys carry on……Like you say–no matter what happens, what we have endured, kids, careers, family, death……our passion and friends remain.
I came along after you had departed the sport–I remember doing rides with you guys around sangamon state and the rest was history. Listening to you and Doering argue over our jerseys sitting on the floor of the “original” BikeTek shack…….good times indeed. and who could forget the big year end bash and Tobers Lard Bars, the bike races around the house finishing with a pitcher of beer……..That group, yourself included had moved on (Tobers, Williams, Jack. Beeler, Barry….., and another group started, Listers, Eichenger etc, etc….and on and on. I agree it is about the Bike–like you, it opened up a different world of possibility, hope, friendships, good times and true sole-searching. Nothing can replace the friendships, group rides, training racing etc…. I wish we could have teamed up in those few years. I was missing a partner in crime due to the disintegration/sacking of the Elite sqaud. Good luck in your much belated return–cycling needs you as much as you need cycling.
Neff
Josh -
It’s been referred to as a bad disease. I hang out with Jack quite a bit, he says he’d like to get his graduate degree in psychology and do a thesis on bike racers or endurance athletes in general. In a way we’re all at least a bid screwed up. Tonight on A & E at 8:00 the show Intervention is featuring Chad Gerlach. I don’t know if you remember him or not but he was National Champ a couple times and rode of USPS for awhile. Now he’s strung out on drugs and alcohol and lives in the streets. Maybe he needs to get back on the bike. Keep in touch, we should ride sometime.
Holy cow are you serious???? I know him fairly well……Is Jack back in Edwardsville? Does he still have the masters team?
I caught the story on Chad Gerlach on A&E. It was a pretty interesting story. I can see how easy it would be for someone with the mentality of a pro cyclist could go to that extreme. Chad really explained that cycling was everything to him. So when he screwed that up, what did he have left? Drinking and drugs… So he went from one extreme to the other. It was a eye opening story with a good ending.
http://www.byjamesraia.com/articles/124/1/Chad-Gerlach-Former-Pro-Cyclist-Lance-Armstrong-Teammate-Subject-Of-Pending-AampE-Network-Program-Intervention/Page1.html
I think Bob describes his set backs and shows that cycling is a permanent fixture for him. It is about keeping his sanity, it is about a life style. And when the going gets tough, cycling will always be there.
Josh -
Jack is back, most of the time. He spends a considerable amount of time in California also. Labor Power midwest is no longer, he’s riding for Lucas Oil and I’m riding for VC Bikepsort, Bruce Bock’s team out of Wisconsin. Jack threw me a bone and let me ride for Labor the past couple years. I didn’t know Gerlach, but I knew some of his teammates. I’m glad there’s a happy ending there. Did you notice they posted at the end that he’s been sober since Feb. ‘08 and just bought a road bike?
I did read that he was back riding again and going to school this fall? I missed the intervention though. Are you here in town? I thought I saw you at the mall last week (Tuesday) at the Game Stop. I wasnt sure–I dont currently have a road bike…just a mountain bike and a couple frames and bits and pieces of components. I will need to get something new before I can get back out on the road–
I’m in town and yes I was at Game Stop with my boys, couldn’t get them out of there. Talk to Matt and get a bike … it’s time.
Bob, is that you? I had no idea you were a biker! I guess I only knew one side of a multifaceted individual. Sorry to hear about your family issues of late, but it sounds like your making a comeback. Would love to see you ride/race sometime!
- Jenni Gardner
PS, I still have your de-humidifyer!
I was wondering where that de-humidifier went. Cycling is my happy place. I see you’re into the multi-sport thing and that’s awesome. We should ride sometime.
Awwwww Bob…… What an emotional story! All I can say is that I love ya and very proud of you… Your two boys are great. They are physically athletic all because of you!!! They are so proud of you and want to be just like you! I have always seen you as a winner. Your greatest strength and passion never left you. It was always right in front of you~
I love the calls and texts from you after your races. I enjoy knowing how well you did and get excited for you when you tell me that you placed. Your stories are always so detailed and so inspiring! But I think the best stories I love to hear is when you tell me how well your son at his races. To hear he placed 1st, 2nd or 3rd~ or even to hear you brag how “he did better than these older kids” makes me so proud of him, because I am so proud of YOU~~~ Your son is YOU on his bike!!! What a great feeling for YOU!!!
Great story, Bob! We might not all share in the tragedy side of your story but I think all of us can relate to using competition and exercise as an outlet. It’s great to have you back. You really took care of me as a junior and showed me the ropes. I learned a lot from you and the crew……both on the bike and off the bike. I’m glad people are able to return the favor.
I can so relate to Chad Gerlach’s story also. Cycling can be an addiction and once you don’t have the bike you have to resort to other means to fill the void. The bike IS my life’s barometer. When I am riding the world is groovy and when I’m not riding well or not at all my life “Fades to Black” (as Metallica so eloquently describes).
P.S. Have you started motorpacing your kids?
Thanks for kind words Emily & Doogie. It’s nice to know that I’ve had a positive influence on people. I’ve started Joe on a brutal motorpacing schedule … of course in front of the motorcycle.
Bob,
That is the gayest thing I’ve read in a long time. It makes me want to hit you in the face with a cinder block.
Jack
Jack -
I wouldn’t feel the love if you’d said anything different. In the words of Barney, “I love you, you love me”.
was that Barney who said that… So does this mean that I have to start riding again to share my abc after school special story??? just kidding Bob, glad to hear you are doing ok.
BOB = Stud….enough said!
p.s when we going to hooters again? wings sound good!
Is that the Unicorn? I thought you joined the witness protection program and were selling textiles in a remote location in Northern Wisconsin.